Wise lion quotes

Funny Unicorn Quotes

I don't believe in humans ~ unicorn

My friend just told me I was delusional. I almost fell of my unicorn

 When I look at myself in the mirror I see a unicorn. A badass unicorn.

Funny Donkey Quotes

I don't like pinatas....they promote violence against flamboyant animals.....What I'm trying to say is, don't make the same halloween costume mistake that I did.

Life would be a million times better if there were pinatas strategically placed throughout the days.

Funny Crab Quotes

I want to get a bunch of hermit crabs and keep them together. Then when people go, "Hey are these hermit crabs?" I'll go, "Not anymore. Now they're mingling crabs

Funny Girrafe quotes

I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat. God damn that must suck.

 Mitch Hedberg

 A girraffe cant swim

Funny Hippo quotes

I wonder if a hippopatamus is just a really cool opatamus."

-Mitch Hedberg

Funny and Cute Dog Quotes

I didn't do it...And even if I didI'm cute enough to get away with it.

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.  -Marilyn Monroe 

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." — Will Rogers 

 Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

The factory of the future will have two employees: a man and a dog. The man's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to prevent the man from touching any of the automated equipment. - Warren G. Bennis 


I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl. - dog owner

All you need is LOVE .... and A DOG...

Funny goldfish quotes

Funny Seal quotes

Do not consume if Seal is broken.

 Seal of approval

Funny Sharks Quotes

Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.

 More people get killed by bees every year than sharks.
Yeah but sharks have the statistical advantage of not being where we are nearly all the time.

 The ocean gets its saltiness from the tears of misunderstood sharks who just want to cuddle.

Funny Wolves Quotes

People are like wolves, some bite some growl but most of them suck out whine and crawl.